A few days back I came across this amazing article written by Merih Büyükcivelek. I found it very interesting as it spoke to me on a very personal level.
It spoke to me because I find being an adult as no joke, Sure it has it’s perks like you can drive yourself to where ever you want to go or buy things you like, right? Wrong, most of the time you are so tired you don’t want to go anywhere or do anything and you probably do not have enough money left at the end of the month, after paying all your ‘adult’ bills, to buy what you want.
I have heard many people talking about how they wish they could go back to the days where their biggest worry was what mom packed for lunch.
However, the article challenges these thinking pasterns as it highlights how we tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our partner gets his or her act together, how life will be better when we get a nicer car, or when we are able to go on a nice holiday.
We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married or have a baby.
Then we are frustrated that the kids aren’t old enough, and we’ll be more content when they are older.
After that, we’re frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage.
We complain that we are too busy and we tell ourselves that our lives will be complete when we retire and have more free time.
The truth is, there’s no better time to be happy than right now. If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges.
It’s best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
If i had to keep on with this thinking pattern of how bad it is to be an adult and that I hate all the tings I HAVE to do I realized I will end up a very bitter and unhappy person. I can not wait for life to go my way before I am happy. I can not do this as this will be giving the control of my happiness to some other force.
A quote from Alfred D. Souza (that was also in the article) actually said it so nice.
“For a long time it had seemed to me that life was about to begin – real life. But there was always some obstacle in the way, something to be gotten through first, some unfinished business, time still to be served, or a debt to be paid. Then life would begin. At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life.”
Merih ends the article by explaining how this perspective has helped her to see that there is no way to happiness. Happiness is the way.
she continues by saying: treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time…and remember that time waits for no one.
So, stop waiting until you lose ten kg, until you gain ten pounds, until you have kids, until your kids leave the house, until you start work, until you retire, until you get married, until you get divorced, until Friday night, until Sunday morning, until you get a new car or home, until your car or home is paid off, until spring, until summer, until winter, until your song comes on, until you’ve had a drink…. there is no better time than right now to be happy.
Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
Thank you Merih Büyükcivelek your article made me think, and that is probably the only thing you can really do to help someone.