Living with Schizophrenia
Living with Schizophrenia is not easy. It is not something that can be wished away. As we have just celebrated awareness of Schizophrenia in the last few days, we realize that for many people living with Schizophrenia, it’s about accepting, learning how to live with and guiding others about the mental illness which is often greatly misunderstood.
A young lady shares her story:
“I knew something was wrong – I just did not know exactly what. It felt like I was losing myself. I felt so out of touch with myself, almost as if I was watching myself doing things but not really feeling anything. I was so scared that others will notice too, so I started withdrawing from my friends. Later I did not bother to spend time with my parents or siblings as I preferred staying indoors and preferably in my room all by myself.
I finally went to see my doctor where we ticked all the boxes: showing signs of delusion (I constantly believed someone was out to “get” me); hallucinations (I heard voices and at first it was just mild but it became more prominent over time); disorganized speech (I constantly embarrassed myself in meetings by responding with completely unrelated answers); withdrawal (I became scared of myself as I was not sure what I would respond like in different situations and stayed away from friends, family and colleagues in order not to embarrass myself). I stopped playing hockey and lost complete interest in playing chess and used a back injury as an excuse not to engage in my favourite sport.
I remember the day I shared with my parents that I sought professional help because I was just not feeling myself. My mom looked at me in utter shock while my dad pretended that he did not hear me at all. I realised that my relationships will be affected with my diagnosis and that I may need to prepare myself for a lot of explanation and knowledge about what I am going through.
Two years down the line, I am still here. Some days are better than others, but I have learnt with the necessary support and most importantly taking care of myself is so important. I see my doctor every month, I use my medication as prescribed. I have the most amazing Psychologist who helped me through the most difficult time of just accepting my illness and to even explain to my family about Schizophrenia and how it impacts our lives. I have joined a support group and don’t feel ready yet to play hockey again but I do enjoy a game of chess here and there. I had to take some time off work once or twice, but I pace myself and it is going much better now that I am using medication suited for me and working from home on the days that I don’t feel so good. I could laugh and debunk the myth of “people with Schizophrenia are dangerous” when my little niece came with a plastic sword and armour to protect herself from me because she heard from school that people with Schizophrenia can be very dangerous. I assured her that the only thing I needed was for her to still love me and support me and be understanding of what I may be going through”.
Upon concluding my interaction with this young lady, the best advice she shared was getting support from her doctor, Psychologist, family, friends and those going through a similar experience. She emphasized how important it is to take her medication regularly so that she can stick to her routine on a daily basis. She shared that she was never someone who exercised regularly or was too bothered with eating healthy. This all changed once she learnt that all those healthy habits lifted her mood and gave her courage to get through the day step by step and little by little. In therapy she learnt how to relax more, how to challenge irrational thoughts and also how to journal if things became just too much for her.
Schizophrenia is a complex mental illness which impacts people’s entire lives. It has been found that factors like genetics, environmental factors and brain chemistry contributes to the development of Schizophrenia. The best we can do is to try and understand and support those living with the illness in order to maintain healthy relationships with the individual and provide them with the opportunity to still live a good quality life.
