“Here I am, the day after my 29th birthday, and I feel empty. I can’t seem to put my thoughts together or make a decision on what to do with myself. I’m frustrated and just downright lonely. I don’t even know if this is normal or what actually is normal anymore… 

I keep running from my illness but it always seems to catch up with me and take me down with it… 

I know that I won’t always feel this way though and that tomorrow may be a better day but sometimes I don’t feel like waiting for tomorrow. I want instantaneous results and I’m impatient at the best of times… 

Just another day in my life, in my mind. 

I’m trying to take all the advice I can get about keeping busy and exercising. Apparently it helps keep one stable. However, on days like today I can’t even decide what socks to wear nevermind make decisions on what to do to keep myself busy. Nevertheless, I sat down and made the decision to write down my thoughts. I guess that counts…

I know that once I’m finished here I’m going to have to make another choice and lying on the couch staring at the ceiling fan is not a good option. Maybe I’ll read, or watch TV or maybe I’ll be really productive and study… I’m fighting this feeling. I’m fighting an everyday battle and I’m going to win. Maybe not today but I will win. I’m not letting bipolar beat me.” – Heather  Continue “When things get hard!”

In ‘My Fair Lady’, the musical, Eliza Doolittle sings about how lovely it would be to have a few simple things.  She wants a room away from the cold with a big chair, a warm face, warm hands and warm feet with lots of chocolate to eat.

What would be lovely to you?

For me it would be lovely to go to sleep, have a good night’s rest without the help of medication.  To face the winter time with only a thick coat and a comfortable blanket without worrying about mood changes and the battle to keep control. Continue “Lovely”

“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”
― John Bunyan

We live in a world where it has become so easy to live past one another. Although economical growth and technology has made our world more functional, it has taken out the caring for fellow human beings which is fundamental to our spiritual and emotional health.

The work place has become about meeting financial targets and not about the love for the work you do. Every day we sit in traffic with hundreds of cars around us with each containing one individual sitting there by himself cussing the car in front of him for not driving fast enough. Cars have taken us of the streets where we use to “run-in-to” people, phones and emails have taken all emotional connection out of conversations. This is why the world has become, for many, a dark and unwelcoming place.

Continue “25 Ways to help others”

run/cycle/run –  2.5km/10km/1.25km

Sunday morning was freezing in Vanderbijl.  I was trained to stay positive and told myself that it wouldn’t be so cold higher up in Gauteng, but I was wrong.  It was extremely cold next to the Germiston lake.  My greatest supporter, my mom, drove me there.  We were one of the first people to arrive.  We had the opportunity to look around and get my race pack while it was still quiet.

Continue “My first duathlon!”

As we are moving closer to the ending off of our month theme helping others I found myself reminiscing. I was looking back on all the different ways we helped others and how helping others can have a very positive effect on our own lives.  However, I come to the realization that before we can help others we have to first look at our own well being.

Lets have a look at some positive steps to well being that I can not only use to improve my own quality of live, but also help others to a happy and healthy life.

Positive steps to well being

May you all have a positive day!

You have to be the change you want to see in the world.

Currently we are constantly bombarded with images of violence in the media and because of it there has been an outcry to political and religious leaders to help or to step in.

Why has this become the answer, that we need have leaders ask for kindness? if you want to live in a world that is kind YOU need to be kind.

May you all have a wonderful weekend and may you rejoice in the kindness you find in others, but more importantly may you be the reason that others rejoice in the kindness you show.

Helping others, Exercise,  Learn,  Play,  Spiritual growth 

On 22April, I had an opportunity to give a motivational talk to the Vista board of trustees and had the privilege of meeting Dr Peter Landless, chairman of the board.

After the talk, Dr Landless presented me with a certificate and a badge, and congratulated me.  Vista rewarded me  for practicing the Happiness HELPS factors on a daily basis.  Dr Jerry Bezuidenhout, my psychiatrist, pinned a smaller badge on my Vista cycling vest.  At first I didn’t know what was happening, so I just kept on thanking everyone and smiled when the photos were taken.

For a long while after I left the meeting, I wandered around trying to figure out what just happened.  I stopped and looked at the certificate and the badge, but had no idea what it meant.  After a while I went to Nicolene, the marketing officer, and asked.  After she explained to me and it sunk in, I realised that all the hours training was being rewarded!   My dream about making a difference in the world isn’t a dream anymore, but a reality.  The award is hard evidence of it.  The only way that I can describe the feeling that came up in me is to liken it to a student being presented with a diploma! Continue “Happiness HELPS Ambassador”

Yes, Yes you can!!

It is a new month and that can only means one thing…..a brand new Happiness HELPS theme!!!

Soooo…..I hope you are all ready to be a little active this month because we are focusing on excise. Exercise is not only good for the body but, can change your mind, attitude and mood. Seeing as there is no time to wast I would like to share with you today 5 simple exercises you can do to tackle those winter blues.

Click here 

If you are like me you probably also think that exercise is a curse word. Or more accurately the motivation to do it is just not there, your get up and go probably got up and went without you. Continue “Don’t be a Bob!”

‘Bipolar is often cyclical, occurring at particular times of the year. Changes in biological rhythms, including sleep and hormone changes, characterize the illness. Changes in the seasons are often associated triggers.’ – sadag.org

Since the start of April I noticed a change in my mood.  My anxiety levels were higher than usual and anything small would trigger an anger outburst.
Then I remember that these mixed feelings are a normal symptoms for bipolar when the season change.  I understand that the change of season as an effect on all people, but the person with bipolar experience more intense.  Continue “Bipolar is often cyclical”